


bring me that horizon

by littlelamplight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Pirates, Pirates of the Caribbean References, There is pretty much no slow burn here they're very useless, alex the pirate at heart, astra the cursed pirate queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When her sister is kidnapped by pirates searching to break an ancient curse, Alex stows away on board a pirate vessel in the hopes of reaching Tortuga, where she can start to search for her sister in earnest. </p><p>She just had to choose the ship belonging the immortal pirate queen, didn’t she?</p><p>Pirate AU in which Astra is a cursed pirate queen, and Alex is the key to breaking it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bring me that horizon

Alex has always loved the sea. She has always wanted to sail a ship across the waves, to let the current and the tide take her wherever the wind sees fit. She has longed for the freedom of the wide, open ocean for as long as she can remember. 

 

It feels like a part of her, sometimes, that ebb and flow, the rhythmic crash of the waves on the shore like the beat of her heart in her ribcage. Her father taught her about the currents and the wind changes and how to navigate by mapping the stars, and sometimes, sailing the ocean is like finding a part of him. 

 

Her father is the reason she was able to join the navy, his legacy living on after his death. He saved J’onn, her captain, from pirates one day (a day that has been engrained in Alex, and sometimes she feels like her blade is singing for vengeance, even if she quelled that desire a long, long time ago), and in the aftermath, J’onn swore that he would provide Jeremiah’s daughters with whatever they desired, whatever they needed, to be happy, with this gaping hole in their lives. 

 

He used the money from the dead pirate’s treasure to ensure that Kara would never have to marry for position, or wealthy, that Alex’s beautiful, adopted sister with a heart of gold and the ability to see the good in people, despite how rotten this world seems, could marry for love, if she wished. Alex wonders if Kara will simply use that freedom to explore what she loves, to paint and write and to help the poor. Her sister deserves that freedom. 

 

J’onn agreed to take Alex on, once she was old enough, and he kept that promise. He began to train her two years ago, and since that day, Alex has worn mens’ clothes and kept her hair short, and she wonders how it fools people, sometimes, maybe J’onn simply threatened everyone on his ship to keep quiet, but she is thankful for it. 

 

She  _belongs_ here, out on the open ocean. She knows that Kara longs for it too, longs for the adventure the endless horizon offers, and she swore to herself long ago that one day, she’d get her own ship, and she’d take her sister wherever she wanted to go. 

 

Alex loves the ocean. 

 

But right now, she wants to curse it for its vastness. 

 

She wants to tilt her head up and scream, and let her rage and frustration roll out over the waves, out and out and out, until it reaches Kara, wherever she is, wherever she has been taken. 

 

Her sister has been kidnapped by pirates, and now, Alex is here, kneeling on the deck of another, different pirate ship, J’onn by her side, and they are both at the mercy of these men and women who have never had a reputation for such a thing, especially towards naval officers. 

 

J’onn didn’t even blink, when she told him of her intentions. That the pirate they’d managed to prevent returning to the ship that took Kara had been babbling about curses and cures and blood and ancestry and pirates, and that only pirates would understand. He didn’t blink, just shouldered his rifle, and asked her what she intended to do. 

 

So maybe it wasn’t her brightest idea, to ensure that they were aboard the first ship that went out after the pirates. Well, that part of the plan was fine. 

 

But yeah, stowing away on the pirate ship they saw anchored off the coast was definitely a stupid, rash decision. 

 

Her logic had been that pirates led to pirates. That they could stow away aboard this vessel until it reached Tortuga, and get the information they needed from there, get a crew and a ship and go after her sister, and save her. 

 

Of course, it couldn’t be that easy. 

 

They’d been discovered the moment she felt the ship begin to move, and she still isn’t sure why. It was like the pirates knew exactly where they were, exactly where to look, which makes little sense to her, considering that they probably would’ve been thrown off earlier. 

 

She tries not to think about the fact that maybe these pirates have a specific purpose for keeping them aboard, as she kneels on the deck with her hands tied tightly behind her back. She can feel J’onn’s arm pressed against hers, and tries not to think about how she might have gotten him killed. 

 

There are a lot of women on this ship, she notices, and she feels a spark of envy, no matter how much she tries to quell it. She might hate pirates, for what they did to her father, but she cannot deny that she envies their freedom, the fact that they can sail and command regardless of where they come from. 

 

They look at her with the same dislike, the same aversion that she feels for them, and she knows its because of what she’s wearing. They should have ditched their clothes, ditched all the signs that they were part of the navy, because the bad blood between them is hardly going to help. But Alex wanted to go after her sister, before their trail went cold. She thinks that they’re going to pay for it. 

 

Aside from the woman standing in front of them, staring down at them with her arms folded, the other pirates seem to be ignoring them. Alex keeps her gaze fixed on this short, dark eyed, dark haired woman, and doesn’t waver. The woman seems strangely… familiar to her, but she can’t place it at all. She takes in the swirling tattoos curling up the woman’s biceps, the dozen knives circling her waist, and the two pistols strapped to the small of her back. It should look ridiculous, this short, lithe woman armed to the teeth, but it doesn’t. There is a faded red bandana keeping her hair back from her face, and she is wearing earrings that appear to be made of shark’s teeth. There are gold rings on her fingers, and they are so cold that they almost burn, when the woman wraps her hand around Alex’s chin and tilts her head up higher. 

 

‘You’re clearly in charge here’, she says, tilting her head so that her earrings rattle. ‘The Admiral will want to talk to you, and you alone. Do yourself a favour, and answer her questions. She hates the navy’. Her mouth curves in a quick, mocking smile. ‘But I think she’ll like you’. 

  
The Admiral.

Honestly, one of the gods must have it in for her. Of all the pirate ships she could have found, of all the ships she could've chosen to stow away on, she had to chose this one. The Myriad. A ship made notorious by its infamous pirate queen, a woman rumoured to have destroyed an entire navy fleet, headed by one of their best Admirals, which was where she got her title. A woman who is said to be merciless and cold, who hates navy sailors with a passion. A woman who is rumoured to be invulnerable, immortal. A woman who cannot die.

And Alex stowed away on her ship.

She is so dead.

She jerks her head out of the grip, and the woman laughs. She puts her hand on the top of Alex’s head, and forces it down. Alex feels the muscles in her neck strain. ‘But some respect wouldn’t hurt’. 

She lets go of Alex’s head, and J’onn hisses, ‘keep your head down, Alex’. 

 

She grits her head, and for the first time since Kara was taken, listens to him. They’re only in this position because she rushed on headlong. At least, she listens until a pair of boots framed by the hem of a long, dark coat enters her field of vision, and she looks up. She looks up, because from this vantage point the Admiral towers over her and oh, Alex is not easily intimidated, she's not easily thrown, but she takes one look at this woman, and she understands why there are so many legends revolving around her.

At first glance, the Admiral is beautiful, with her proud, finely carved features, her high cheekbones and bright, gleaming eyes and her incredibly long, curly hair. She is wearing a dark blue scarf in her hair, the tail end of it fluttering close to her neck, and the hat atop her head has a single long, white feather stuck in it. 

  
And then Alex looks closer, and she seems something else.

Is it an ethereal beauty, but there is something removed in her expression. Her pale eyes gleam, but it is less like there is a light contained within her, and more like the glare of moonlight reflecting off ice caps, cold, impersonal, and unfeeling. Her entire expression is like that, cold and removed, and she is beautiful, undeniably so, but it is intangible, unreachable, and Alex wonders what that beauty hides, what is beneath it, she wonders whether the tales of this woman's mercilessness, her icy anger, are the only ones that are true, whether the rumours of freed slaves and rescued women are entirely false.

She feels a chill, staring at the woman's face, but she tilts her head up, and meets her stare head on.

She sees a flicker of something in the woman's eyes, something like interest, and the Admiral tilts her head. 'Well well well', she says, and her voice is low and rich and smooth, a hint of an accent she can't identify, 'what have we here?' Her lips curve, a smirk that is somehow sharp. 'You are either very foolish, or very brave, to risk stowing away on my ship'. She pauses, her eyes moving slowly up and down Alex's body, and she feels like the woman is stripping away every defence and every secret, to find a truth that few have seen. 'Somehow I doubt you are a fool'.

  
Alex grits her teeth, and lifts her chin higher. The short woman, who Alex can only assume is the first mate, narrows her eyes. 'You'd be wise to show some respect'.

Alex snorts. 'Respect? To pirates?'

The woman's eyes flash, and her hand lowers to her sword, but the Admiral extends a hand and says quietly, 'peace, Lucy. These two are from the navy. They do not know any better'. Her eyes flash. 'Mores the pity'.

  
Alex swallows tightly. Despite the blur between fact and fiction when it comes to this woman, everyone knows how the Admiral despises the navy, that she took on her title to mock them, that she was saying,  _you cannot best me, look at me, I wear your badge of the highest order, look how worthless that is, I am the Queen of the Seas, gentlemen, do not test me_. There are various theories as to why she hates them so. She feels J'onn tense beside her, and hastens to speak before he intervenes. 'We are not with them, anymore’.

  
The Admiral frowns, and tilts her head again, regarding Alex more critically. She crouches down suddenly, and her long coat opens to reveal a thin white shirt, and Alex is left with the impression of  _sharpness_ , of knives and cutlasses, and she blinks. The woman leans in very close to her, staring at her face intently, and Alex notices that the woman’s eyes are green, rather than colourless and pale. She meets the Admiral's gaze head on, refusing to blink or look away, and after a long moment, the woman smiles, a quick, sharp thing, and laughs, a low, dry sound. ‘Alex, was it?’

 

She refuses to blink, but she remembers that J’onn only said her name once, and it is a little unnerving that the Admiral's hearing is that good. ‘I don’t think we’re on a first name basis…’ she lets herself trail off, and raises an eyebrow, and she is aware that taunting this woman is a bad idea, but she has no defences here, and she’s always turned to sarcasm in difficult situations. 

 

The Admiral's smile grows, and it is a sharp, predatory thing. ‘Astra’, she says, her eyes gleaming as brightly as the moonlight reflecting off the silver loops in her ears. ‘Tell me, is Alex short for Alexandra?’ 

 

Alex blinks, and she knows that her composure has broken. Astra laughs, and glances at the woman standing beside her. ‘Remind you of anyone, little Lane?’ 

 

Alex feels her lips part, genuinely surprised, and unable to hide it.  _Lucy Lane?_ She blinks, trying to regain her composure, as she watches the shorter woman’s left eye twitch. ‘What have I said about calling me that, Admiral?’ 

 

Astra shakes her head, and reaches out to tap Alex under the chin. ‘It appears you are far more interesting than I first realised. And we clearly have a lot to talk about’. 

 

Before Alex can do more than blink, Astra rises smoothly to her feet, and glances at Lucy. ‘Take the man down below’. She reaches down, grabs Alex’s shoulder, and hauls her to her feet so suddenly that Alex almost stumbles, thrown by the strength of the woman. ‘ _Alexandra_ and I are going to have a little chat’. 

 

 

~ ~ ~

 

 

Alex has counted five ways to escape Astra’s cabin, and somehow, she thinks that the woman knows that. That she will predict every single move, and so Alex hasn’t tried. 

 

She watches Astra move about her cabin, and considers her strategy. She knows that this woman hates the navy, and yet she also knows about the other things. About the people she has been rumoured to help, especially women. If Alex can convince her that she is no longer part of the navy, maybe she can convince her to help her find her sister. Astra must know where this treasure is. And if she refuses to help, well, there are other methods. 

 

Astra takes off her long coat, and Alex has that impression of sharpness again, of dozens of knives, as Astra hangs her coat over one of the many chairs at this long table that looks strangely out of place in a pirate’s cabin. She expected squalor and dirt and grime, but Astra’s cabin is strangely neat, strangely welcoming. She shrugs off that thought, because it reminds her of Kara, of the day Kara had bumped her shoulder against Alex’s and told her that maybe being a pirate was more suited to her than joining the navy. Astra unbuckles her belt, and hangs it over the chair, too, and Alex forces herself not to look at the swords, not to show Astra that she is looking to escape. 

 

Astra sits down in the chair, and props her ankle on her knee. She draws a long knife from her boot, and beckons to Alex. ‘Turn. Those bindings aren’t necessary here’. 

 

Alex rubs her wrists when Astra frees her, and despite wanting to resist, sits down opposite her. Astra places the knife on the table between them, like a challenge, and tilts her head. Alex stares at her, her jaw clenched. She feels like Astra is waiting for her to speak. She is the first to break the silence, because she doesn’t have time to let this drag on, she needs to get after her sister. ‘How did you know?’ 

 

Astra leans forward, invading her personal space, and Alex refuses to give ground. Astra lifts a finger, and runs it down the side of Alex's face slowly. Her finger is cold, like an icicle pressed to her skin, and Alex stiffens, but refuses to give the woman the satisfaction of flinching away. She stares, instead, analysing for motive, and as Astra's finger slides down to her jaw, the woman's brow creases, just faintly, and a strange look gleams behind her eyes, something like bafflement, like disbelief, and then it is gone. Astra drops her hand, and her mouth curves. 'Your fellow officers must be blind, Alexandra. Short hair and flat clothing does little to disguise your beauty'.

  
Alex blinks, because that was certainly not what she expected. She has been pretending to be a man for so long that she’s forgotten what it is like to be looked at like that, the way that Astra is looking at her now, and it makes her feel something that she certainly should not let herself feel when it comes to pirates. She thinks she might be familiarising herself with the way this woman works and thinks already, and so she raises an eyebrow, and scoffs. ‘Thats cute, Admiral. Do you use that on all your captives?’ 

 

Astra leans back, and she smiles again, that impressed look gleaming briefly in her eyes. ‘You are not afraid of me’, Astra says, watching Alex with a hint of curiosity. ‘Why is that?’ 

 

‘In one word? Lucy’.

 

Astra raises her eyebrows. ‘You know her?’ 

 

‘I did, once, a long, long time ago. Its more what I know of her. I know that she wanted to join the navy, but unlike me, she didn’t have a mentor willing to let her disguise herself as a boy. Her father is Admiral Lane, you know. The officer determined to bring you down’. 

 

Astra smiles, sharp and mocking, an edge as sharp as the knife resting on the table between them.  _Of course she knows,_ Alex thinks,  _that might even be the point_. ‘So yeah, I knew her. And I know that her father wanted to marry her off, and that she disappeared before he could. He said that it was down to pirates. That they’d taken her and sent him proof of her death. That is apparently the reason why he hates pirates so much’. She raises her eyebrows slightly. ‘But obviously that isn’t true’. 

 

Astra inclines her head. ‘Lucy wanted her freedom. I was happy to give it to her’. 

 

Alex pounces. ‘And thats why I think you’re going to help me’. 

 

Astra laughs dryly. ‘And why would I help an officer of the navy? You may be beautiful, but do not think that that will help you here’. 

 

Alex blinks, and tries not to let herself be thrown, again. She can’t remember the last time someone called her beautiful. And the person doing so now, again, is Astra. The pirate queen. She needs to focus. She clears her throat. ‘Like I said, we’re not part of the navy anymore. We deserted’.

 

‘Isn’t that considered treason, among your kind? If you were caught, wouldn’t it end in a rather foolish tradition where you are hung?’ 

 

‘I have good reason’. 

 

‘And you think that I will help you because of this reason? Is this why you stowed away on my ship?’

 

‘I didn’t specifically know whose ship this was. If I had, I probably would have stayed clear’. She runs a hand through her short hair, and she is very aware of Astra watching her. ‘But I needed a pirate ship, any pirate ship’. 

 

‘And why is that?’

 

‘Pirates kidnapped my sister’, she says, and she does not miss the way Astra blinks, the way her mouth thins. Something dark gleams in her eyes, and she doesn’t know what to make of it. 

 

‘And you believe that all pirates would know where this particular pirate vessel is?’

 

‘They kidnapped her because they believe that she can break a curse’, she says, and Astra stiffens. She leans forward immediately, staring into Astra’s eyes. ‘And you know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? You know where this treasure is’. 

 

Astra stares at her for a long moment. ‘Yes’, she says after a moment, ‘yes, I know where it is. Tell me something, Alexandra, what is your last name?’ 

 

‘Danvers’. 

 

‘Ahhh…’ Astra lets out a long, understanding sound, and her eyes gleam. ‘Jeremiah Danvers left a legacy, I see. No wonder you long for the sea’. 

 

Alex jerks back in her seat, her spine straightening, and she feels her lips twist in a snarl. ‘What did you say?’ 

 

Astra raises her eyebrows. ‘Oh, you don’t know? Jeremiah Danvers was one of the best pirates to ever sail the seas. Of course, he went by another name. Very few knew who he truly was, until his death. I did not have the pleasure of knowing him, but he has my respect, nonetheless’. 

 

‘My father  _was not_ a pirate’. 

 

Astra throws her head back and laughs, and Alex stares at the smooth column of her throat, and imagines grabbing the knife beside them, and pressing it to her skin. She imagines fastening her hands around her throat to shut her up. She wonders whether the skin of her throat is as cold as her hands. ‘Oh, he was. There is no ignoring that’. She tilts her head, regarding Alex critically. ‘I wonder, who was so determined to keep you chained in your society’s expectations that they denied you the truth of your lineage? You belong to the sea, Alex. You always have’. 

 

And Alex hears Astra’s words, and knows that she speaks the truth. 

 

_You belong to the sea, Alex._

It is something that Alex has always known, deep in her very bones, when she looks out at the sea and feels her heart singing.

 

She remembers, suddenly, the expression on her mother’s face whenever she spoke of sailing, of the ocean, the disappointed purse of her lips, and she understand now, that it was to do with more than just her mother wanting her to marry respectfully. It makes her heart ache horribly, it makes her feel cold, but she grits her teeth, and pushes that away. 

 

Because there is something else, a horrible realisation clawing its way up her throat. 

 

The pirate that they interrogated said that they needed her sister for her blood. For the blood that ran in her father’s veins. 

 

Alex had assumed they meant Zor-El, Kara’s long dead father. 

 

But she should have known better. Kara would have called herself Kara Danvers, when asked. 

 

Alex does not believe in curses. But that does not matter. Because the men who took Kara believe in it, and as long as they believe that they need her, they will keep her alive. The moment they realise that it is not Kara they need, but Alex, Kara’s life will be forfeit. She swallows tightly. ‘Look, I don’t care about curses or lineage or whatever, I just need my sister back. You know where the treasure is. So… can you help me?’ 

 

‘You think that because I helped Lucy, I’ll help you?’ 

 

Alex grits her teeth. She can tell, by the way the woman is speaking, the slight mocking lilt, the raised eyebrow, that she is taunting her. That she is deliberately stringing her along. If Astra wants to help, she will, if she doesn’t, she won’t. This back and forth is something that she doesn’t have time for. ‘No. I think that you’ll help me because you’ve helped strangers. Slaves. Women running from their terrible lives. You’ve never taken from the poor. You’re what… a good pirate?’ 

 

Astra laughs again. ‘Well, isn’t that the highest compliment from a navy officer?’ 

 

‘I’m not with them, anymore, Astra, as I have said’. 

 

Astra hums. ‘So, will you turn to piracy, then?’

 

‘I will do anything to get my sister back, Astra, okay, I’ve said that. You want repayment for it, sure, whatever, you’ll have it. I’ll swab your deck for the rest of my life if I have to, but I need your help. I need my sister back’.

 

Astra tilts her head slightly. ‘You’ll do anything? For a curse you don’t believe in?’ 

 

‘For my  _sister_ , Astra. For her, yeah, I will’. 

 

That dark look appears in Astra’s eyes again, and she licks her lips. She looks away from Alex, out the cabin window, and Alex finds her eyes tracing the lines of Astra’s neck and collarbone, and how they contrast with the gentle waves of her hair. Astra reaches up, and removes her hat, dumping it on the table beside her, and for the first time, Alex notices the single white streak of hair, a sudden, jolting contrast, almost silver in the darkness. ‘You must love your sister very much’, she says, and she sounds almost wistful. 

 

Alex frowns slightly. She files that look away for later, that sound, and says, ‘yeah, I do. And I promised to save her’. 

 

Astra’s entire expression changes. Her jaw clenches, and her eyes harden, and she stands suddenly. She looks down at Alex, and her expression is impossible to see. ‘We should never make promises we cannot keep, Alexandra. Especially not to our loved ones’. 

 

She turns her back on Alex, and starts to walk away. After so long trying to contain her anger, her frustration and desperation, there is something about watching her one chance walk away, when saving her sister had suddenly seemed to tangible that she could taste it, that makes something inside Alex snap. 

 

She grabs the knife from the table, springs to her feet, grabs Astra by the shoulder and spins her around, and shoves her hard against the post near the wall, and presses the knife firmly to her throat. 

  
Her arm is jammed between them, and she can feel the edges of Astra's ribs against her forearm from how hard she is pressing down, and the skin beneath her hand is smooth and soft and cold. (She wonders briefly, despite the anger and frustration and desperation surging through her, she wonders why Astra feels so cold, her skin icy, despite the relatively warm cabin). She holds the knife steadily against Astra's throat, pressing down hard enough to make an indentation, but not to cut. She grits her teeth, and hisses, 'you will take me there'.

Astra tilts her head back against the post, and raises an eyebrow. It occurs to Alex that Astra is not struggling at all, that she is not resisting, that her body is relaxed and supple against her own, and that one of her legs is caught between Alex's, and Alex can feel the strength in her thigh. She blinks, and forces herself not to think about that. (It is more difficult to ignore that this close to the woman, with thin layers separating them, Alex feels like there is cold seeping into her skin. She doesn't understand the sensation). 'Are you going to slit my throat, Alex, when I am your only lead? Are you really so reckless that you have thrown caution to the winds for a curse you do not believe in?’

 

Alex grinds her teeth together, unable to hold back her frustration. ‘Its not a matter of belief, Astra. This curse is a myth. A fairy tale. A ghost story. But that is where my sister is being taken, and so that is where I must go’. 

 

Astra reaches up, and curls her fingers around Alex’s wrist. It is a loose grip, and Alex feels the cold like it is seeping into her bones. ‘You will not survive a second, Alex, if you do not believe in the curse’. 

 

Alex scoffs. ‘Are you saying that you do?’ 

 

Astra’s lip quirks, but her expression is not as cold, as removed as it was back up on deck. There is something melancholy, something sad, in her eyes. Her fingers tighten, and she lifts her head off the post, leaning forward, forcing Alex to alleviate the pressure of the knife for fear of actually cutting into her skin. Because Astra was right, in a sense, Alex cannot kill her, and still get what she needs. ‘Do it’, she says, a snap of her teeth clacking together, like she is biting down on other words, and her smile is mocking, taunting, a slow curl of her lips, ‘do it, Alexandra, and you will see the real horror of this world’. 

 

Alex stares, her lips parted  in unabashed surprise. ‘What?’ 

 

Astra’s fingers tighten, an iron, inescapable grip, and before Alex can pull away, before she can struggle, Astra jerks her hand forward and rips it to the side, slitting her own throat with one, smooth movement. 

 

Alex flings herself backwards with a horrified cry lodged in the back of her throat, because  _what the fuck_ , and the knife is still held tightly in her hand, Astra’s grip is just as hard, just as strong, and the woman moves with her, and it is only that, it is only because the distance between them remains relatively small, the proximity, that makes Alex realise that Astra is not dying. 

 

That she is not bleeding out, the life draining from her. 

 

That she is not… bleeding at all. 

 

She stares, stepping closer as she does, until Astra is standing against the post again, watching her with something like amusement. There is a single line, a gaping wound against her throat, but she is not bleeding. As Alex watches, that wound  _closes_ , like the skin is knitting itself back together. Barely able to believe her eyes, Alex lifts her free hand, and rests it against Astra’s neck. The skin under her hand is cold, and smooth, and there is no sign of the gaping wound that was there seconds before. 

 

She gapes. She keeps her hand there, resting against Astra’s throat for a moment, just staring, because she doesn’t understand how this is possible. The knife still clutched in her hand drops to clatter against the wooden planks, and she becomes aware that Astra’s hand is still locked tightly around her wrist. She almost doesn’t feel it. 

 

She recalls the tales of this fierce pirate queen, the rumours that she’d always been beautiful, ageless and free, sailing the seas for years, the tales of invulnerability, that she’d taken on the Admiral’s armada by leaping from ship to ship, and that no one had stood in her way. 

 

  
_Immortality_.

 

It shouldn’t be possible, at all, but Alex is staring proof in the face, and she’s never been one to dismiss what she has seen herself. She swallows tightly, unable to tear her eyes away from Astra’s neck. ‘How… how is this possible? How is  _this_  a curse?’ 

 

Astra laughs, and it is an unamused, wry sound, and Alex feels it vibrate through her hand. Astra wraps her other hand around Alex’s, and shifts it higher, pressing Alex’s fingers to the point beneath her jaw. It takes Alex a long moment to work out what the woman is trying to tell her. 

 

Astra has no heart beat. 

 

She swallows, again, with some difficulty, and she doesn’t understand why she feels so overwhelmed by this knowledge, so… saddened. She tears her eyes up to Astra’s face, and she is not mistaken when she thinks she sees sadness in her eyes. ‘You’re not… alive?’

 

This explains the cold chill to the woman’s skin, she thinks. She can feel Astra’s fingers moving in small circles against the insides of her wrists, and she has not let go of either hand, and she wonders whether this fierce, proud pirate is unconsciously seeking a source of warmth. Astra sighs heavily, and that sadness in her eyes is only growing. ‘I am neither alive nor dead, Alexandra. I am… in between. I cannot die, and I cannot live’. She lets go of Alex’s hand, finally, and reaches up to touch her face. The caresses is a mirror of the one mere moments ago, before Astra tipped the world on its head, but it is less threatening, and Alex recognises the look in Astra’s eyes as one of  _longing_. ‘I cannot feel the heat of the sun on my face, or the wind in my hair. I cannot taste the salt of the sea, or feel its caress on my skin. I have no sense of taste, and no matter how much I eat, my mouth only fills with ash’. 

 

Her hand flattens against Alex’s cheek, and it feels less cold, somehow, and there is that look again, in Astra’s eyes, that faint crease at her brow, confusion colouring the sadness, like there is something about Alex that she doesn’t understand. ‘I cannot feel the warmth of another’s skin’. Her frown deepens, and she is staring at Alex’s mouth. ‘You claim that this is a ghost tale, Alex. It is a horror story’. 

 

Alex stares at her. She stares into her eyes, and she realises that what she mistook for coldness, is something else. Astra looks hollow. She looks hollow and starved and in that moment, terribly sad. 

 

Alex stares, and all the frustration and anger drains from her. All she can feel, with her fingers pressed to Astra’s cold, lifeless skin, is pity. Pity and a terrible, crushing sorrow. She does not know this woman, this pirate who has plundered and pillaged, who has freed slaves and spirited women away to safety, she does not know her, but how could she feel anything but sorrow? 

 

This is no way to live. It is not living at all. 

 

She takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. She needs to get to her sister, but maybe there is a different angle she can take, one that doesn’t involve useless threats and pointless pleading. ‘My blood is apparently the key to this curse, Astra. If you help me save my sister, we’ll find a way to break it’. 

 

Astra’s eyes close briefly, and she chuckles softly. Then she opens her eyes, lets go of Alex’s wrist, and pushes against her shoulder. Alex realises that her hand is still resting on Astra’s neck, and snatches away as if she has been burned, stepping back quickly. Astra moves away from her, and crosses the cabin to retrieve a bottle of rum. Alex watches the way she moves, and finds it hard, even though she knows the truth, to believe what Astra really is. 

 

Astra comes back, and hands her the bottle. ‘Drink’, she says, before settling down into a chair at the table. ‘You look like you need one’. 

 

Alex accepts the rum, because one, Astra is right, and two, she recognises it as something of a white flag. She drinks deeply, and tries not to think about the fact that Astra can’t taste anything. Then she takes a deep breath, and says, ‘so?’

 

Astra tilts her head. Her smile looks almost wistful. ‘You must love your sister very much, Alex’. 

 

Alex swallows tightly. Her heart aches for Kara. ‘More than anything’, she says, and something around Astra’s eyes tightens. ‘She’s my little sister. I’d take on the world to save her’. 

 

Astra closes her eyes for a moment, and then shakes her head. ‘As terrible as this curse may be, Alex, if it was… lifted, I would be able to feel everything. Here, too’, she adds, lifting her hand and pressing it against her own chest, ‘and there are things that I would rather remain numbed’. 

 

Alex blinks. She remembers the way Astra’s mouth twitched down when she first mentioned her sister. Instead of feeling irritated, that Astra has once again refused her, she feels that same burst of sorrow. ‘You lost people’. 

 

Astra scoffs, but that wistful look deepens to become dark and suffocating. ‘We’ve all lost people, Alexandra’. 

 

‘But you've lost a lot’. 

 

Astra stares at her for a moment. She picks up her hat, and turns it over several times in her hands, running her finger over the brim, along the long line of the feather. ‘Yes’, she says finally, without meeting Alex’s eyes. ‘I lost people. My twin sister, and my niece, who I loved like… like she was my own’. She meets Alex’s eyes then, and Alex wonders how it is possible for the woman to feel nothing, to not feel this grief, because she looks like she does, she sounds like she does. ‘Imagine’, she says softly, looking down again, ‘how you would feel if you lost your sister. Then you might understand why I prefer this hell’. 

 

Astra’s words hit her like a punch to the gut, and Alex closes her eyes briefly, gripping the bottle so tightly that her fingers cramp. She tries not to think about all her worst fears, about Kara, bruised and bloodied and broken and gone, gone, dead and lost, and she fails, miserably. Then she takes a deep breath, and swallows those fears. She takes a step forward, and drops to her knees in front of Astra, forcing the woman to look at her. She drops the rum, and rests her hand on top of Astra’s hat. ‘Listen, I am… I am sorry, for your loss. Truly. But please…you have a reputation, Astra. You’ve helped people in need.  _Please_  help me save my sister’. 

 

Astra stares at her for a long, long moment. She reaches out, and runs her thumb over Alex’s bottom lip, and Alex does not stiffen. She wonders whether the woman still thinks that she could find warmth in that touch, whether she imagines a phantom heat (it is not phantom at all, for Alex, she feels something stir low in her belly), swiping away the stain of rum at the corner of her mouth. She rests her thumb next to her lips, on her cheek, and just looks at her for a long time. Alex doesn’t dare breathe. 

 

‘I used to think that I could take on the world’, Astra says finally, her fingers curled underneath Alex’s chin. ‘That I could save my niece and my sister single handedly, despite all the odds stacked against me’. She stares at Alex for a long moment, and then smiles, that bright flash that is not as sharp as it once was. ‘Perhaps if I had someone as brave as you at my side, I would have succeeded’. She drops her hand, and holds it out, palm up, and Alex takes it. Astra pulls her up, so that Alex is standing over her, and Astra leans back in her chair and looks up at her. It is strange, Alex thinks, this reversal of positions, like she is the one with the power, despite the fact that Astra could kill her so easily, and that Alex could not defend herself. Then Astra nods. ‘Alright, Brave One. I will help you’. 

 

The tension drains from Alex so suddenly that she almost sags. She laughs breathlessly, and lets herself smile. ‘Thank you, Astra’. 

 

Astra’s smile fades slightly, but the corner of her mouth is still quirked. She shrugs a shoulder. ‘Don’t thank me yet, Alex’. She frowns slightly, reaching down to pick up the bottle of rum, and when she straightens, she looks almost curious. ‘Now tell me, what is your sister’s name?’ 

 

Alex almost laughs, realising that she hasn’t mentioned Kara by name once. ‘Kara’. 

 

The muscles in Astra’s forearm spasm, and the bottle shatters. Alex jumps, watching as the dark liquid seeps into Astra’s white shirt, darkening it, causing it to cling close to her body, and she notices that Astra is suddenly breathing very heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly, like she is having trouble steadying herself. She blinks, staring at the shards in Astra’s hand, expecting, despite knowing better, to see blood. Astra blinks, and uncurls her fingers slowly. ‘Kara’, she says shakily, ‘that is a… coincidence’.

 

‘A coincidence?’ Alex asks, reaching out and picking a shard of glass from Astra’s skin, because the sight was bothering her. 

 

‘Kara’, Astra repeats, and she sounds almost reverent, ‘was the name of my niece’. 

 

Alex stares at her for a long, long time, and she feels her lips part in genuine shock, because the realisation washing over her feels so, so far fetched, and yet, and yet, it feels  _right,_ like something she has always known. It occurs to her, so suddenly that she feels the need to sit down, that Kara once said her mother had a twin, before she’d shut her mouth and refused to speak about it again. ‘Astra’, she says slowly, ‘was your sister’s name… Alura?’ 

 

Astra surges to her feet, grabs Alex by the front of her shirt and hauls her close, and her face is suddenly very, very close to her. Her eyes are wild, full of anger, and something darker, something raw, grief, grief, grief, she looks like she’s torn between snapping Alex’s neck and breaking apart at the seams. ‘How do you know that name?’ 

 

Astra raises her hands, and places them on Astra’s shoulders, intending to push the woman away, but then she realises that Astra is shaking, and instead, her fingers curl gently, her thumbs moving in slow, soothing circles, like she has always done with Kara. ‘Astra’, she says softly, because she has realised what a blow this is going to be, what a shock, ‘Kara’s adopted. She came to us twelve years ago, at the age of thirteen. Her mother’s name was Alura Zor-El’. 

 

Astra’s grip on her lessens, and the anger in her eyes drains from her as suddenly as the tension in her shoulders, and she stumbles slightly, as if the knowledge has physically hurt her, has knocked her off balance, and Alex tightens her hands in an attempt to hold her upright. Astra stares at her, and for the first time, all her masks have fallen. She looks stricken with sorrow and shock and something else, something like desperation, a glimmer of warmth in her eyes that Kara would call hope. ‘Kara’s… alive?’ 

 

Alex shifts her hand, without really thinking about it, and drops it to Astra’s hip, because the woman is leaning against her, like she might fall of Alex lets go. ‘Yeah, Astra’, she says, and she can’t stop herself from smiling, because that warmth in Astra’s eyes is only growing, it is  _shinning,_ and Alex feels just as overwhelmed by this woman’s joy as she was by her sorrow. ‘Kara’s alive’. 

 

Kara is alive, and as Alex looks into Astra’s bright eyes, at the honest, beautiful smile curving her mouth, she truly believes, for the first time since Kara was taken, that it will stay that way. That they will save her. 

 

Astra is the feared pirate queen, the immortal Admiral who vanquished an armada, and she has just learnt that her niece is alive. 

 

If Alex wasn’t filled with a vicious thrill at the thought of having this woman by her side as they go after Kara, she’d almost feel sorry for the man who took her. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have obviously taken liberties with the curse in this. Astra doesn't turn into a skeleton at night, because Laura, and she doesn't bleed. The emphasis on the curse is more on like, how she physically can't feel anything. 
> 
> Except for Alex. I'm not sure if i made that clear enough but all those moments where Astra is touching Alex and looks confused, its because she can feel .
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this pirate au you no one asked for! if anyone wants another chapter let me know and i'll definitely think about writing another when i have more time :)


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